What Does it Feel Like to be Lonely?

August 17, 2007 by Kelly.

That’s the question my son posed to me on his fifteenth birthday as we were on our way out to lunch. Being the Mom that I am, I assumed he was trying to sort out some of his own feelings. As we continued the conversation over lunch, he remarked that he wasn’t asking because of anything he felt personally, but that he sensed “an air” about me!

I’ll be the first to admit that his question brought back many feelings and thoughts that I haven’t felt in some time–at least, I thought I hadn’t felt them in some time…

Being lonely feels small. It feels painful behind my eyes (probably the pressure of tears struggling to get out) and heavy in my chest. It feels invisible, yet vulnerable. It feels alone.

Am I lonely? Sometimes. My husband travels at times, and I feel very lonely then. I miss his hugs, and his conversation. He’s my best friend. I like to know he’s in the house, even if we’re not in the same room. I feel safe when he’s here–protected. I feel he is safe when he’s here, and protected. Our home, wherever it may be, is our haven.

Am I alone when my husband travels? Hardly! My children are with me constantly, and they gravitate to my office or the kitchen, or wherever I am at the moment. And I have Jesus.

No, I’m never alone, and I’m not lonely as often as I may think I am–for even when my husband is gone, I always have my Savior. The enemy may whisper in my ear that I’m alone and feeling lonely, but I know a lie when I hear it! I am never alone because Jesus is with me!

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